“You can make more money and more friends, but you can’t make more time. That’s why it’s the greatest gift you can give someone.” – Captain James Key

A couple summers ago, I was immersed in writing a book. The weeks flew by, Sept. came, and I never went swimming once.

Yikes. I promised myself that wouldn’t happen this summer. I vowed to swim at least 3 times a week – either in the lake or in one of the 22 (!) public pools in our community of Reston.

One day, I wrapped up a day of consults and went “pool shopping.” I drove past an inviting pool I’d never tried, tucked back under some shade trees. I parked and went in, armed with my goggles for some lapping and a towel for some napping.

As I walked in and saw the fountain in the shallow end packed with kids, moms and a few dads, I knew I’d found the “family” pool.

As I settled in on the only available chaise lounge, a father walked in, still in his business suit, and was met with a thrilled chorus of “Daddy” from his 3 kids who ran-walked (lest the lifeguard tweet her whistle) to greet him.

He walked over to the woman on the chaise next to me, gave her a peck on the cheek and went to change into his trunks.

Five minutes later he was in the pool, surrounded by his adoring brood, playing Marco Polo. (How comforting to know kids still do that.) The mom watched with a proud smile, probably ready for a break after a day entertaining three kids under the age of 10.

The kids were all vying for their Dad’s attention, “Look at me, look at me,” showing the progress they’d made in the strokes they were learning in their swim lessons. He started giving them rides on his shoulders and tossing them into the water, much to their delight.

It did my heart good to watch this Walton-like tableau unfold in front of me. This happy family cavorting together brought back fond memories of my sons Tom and Andrew growing up in Maui and our days at the beach at “golden hour,” that magical hour before the sun set when the trade winds died down and we had Keawekapu Beach to ourselves.

All of a sudden, the father paused for a moment and looked at his wife. He said, almost in a state of wonderment, “Hon, Why don’t we make this our default? Why don’t we just meet here at the pool every night after work?”

I have to admit. I held my breath.

I looked at her, thinking, “Please say yes.”

She looked at him, smiled in agreement and said, “Why don’t we?”

That simple decision, which took 5 seconds to make, could turn this into what everyone remembers as “the summer we met Dad at the pool every afternoon.” The summer of no Blackberries. The summer everything was right with their world. The summer they gave each other the gift of their time.

What are your defaults?

What do you automatically do without thinking?

Are those behaviors serving you or sabotaging you?

Could you decide to do something differently today that could reap a lifetime of fond memories – a life of results vs. regrets?

Maybe you could change your default to go for a walk every night after dinner instead of sitting down to watch TV. Enjoy the fireflies instead of a reality show.

Maybe, if you live and work in the city; you could head out to the country this weekend to nurture your nature . . . in nature.

Choosing to do one thing new vs. automatically indulging in a routine behavior can have a dramatic, enduring positive impact.

Next time something feels viscerally right, ask yourself, “How can I make this my new default so it’s an ongoing vs. occasional thing?”

Substituting an inspiring behavior for an autopilot behavior can serve as a SerenDestiny Stepping Stone and help you start leading the life you’re meant to live now, not someday.

 

“Remember, we’re all in this . . . alone.” - Lily Tomlin

As mentioned in the previous article, I had the privilege of living in Hawaii for 17 years. As much as I loved living in Paradise, I didn’t realize how professionally isolating it was until I moved to the Mainland.

A colleague Rebecca Morgan, (co-founder of SpeakerNetNews.com) and I roomed together at a convention that year. We stayed up late every night debriefing the presentations and swapping best-practice tips.

We decided to continue this rewarding collaboration following the conference by inviting several peers to join us in monthly phone calls and twice-a-year in-person meetings.

At our first meeting, we were “going around the table” updating each other on our priority projects and pinpointing where and how we could use help.

When it was my turn, I said, “I’m thoroughly enjoying this and I’m glad to be part of it. I just can’t think of anything I need help with, so I’ll donate my time back to the group.”

There was silence for a moment and then Rebecca (bless her heart) said, “What are you working on?”

“I’m re-doing my website.”

“We can help you with that, “Rebecca said confidently.

And she was right. A half hour later, my website was infinitely better because of the group’s insightful suggestions.

My subsequent epiphany was, “It had been so long since I had asked for help, I had forgotten how.”

Are you going it alone? Has it been a long time since you asked for help? Perhaps you don’t know anyone who understands your type of work? Or, you live in an isolated area and are operating solo because there’s no one nearby to talk shop with?

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my research of SerenDestiny is that we slow down our destiny when we try to achieve it ourselves. One of the quickest ways to fast-forward your good fortune is to consciously align yourself with compatible people who have your back and your front.

See, we need people who believe in us and stand behind us - people who have our back.

And we also need people who show us the way and give us a hand up - people who have our front.

Want to know how to do that?

Follow the model of the Quaker Square Inn in Akron, Ohio.

The Quaker Oats company had several grain silos standing side by side that weren’t being used anymore. Company executives were considering tearing them down when a visionary suggested, “Why don’t we take out the inner walls, connect the silos and turn them into a one-of-a-kind, historical hotel?”

Voila. The stunning result of these co-joined silos illustrates it’s possible, even preferable, to operate independently and interdependently so you have the best of both worlds - autonomy and synergy.

Have you gotten so close to your own work, you can’t see it clearly anymore? Are you running on empty and could benefit from an infusion of other people’s energy, experience and expertise?

If so, join a SerenDestiny Mastermind Group. These focus groups give you opportunities to brainstorm/strategize your priorities while getting supportive feedback from others.

Why go it solo when you can benefit from collaboration that will expedite your success?

One of my favorite examples that demonstrates the power of multiple perspectives comes from a Vanity Fair article called How the Web Was Won that interviewed Jeff Bezoz of Amazon.com.

Jeff told of the early days when, despite being told his business model of selling books online didn’t have a chance, they were immediately besieged with orders.

Jeff said, “I was on the floor with a fellow executive packaging up books. After several hours of this, he turned to me and said, “My knees are killing me.’

‘I told him, ‘I know, let’s get knee pads.’

‘He looked at me like I was crazy and said, ‘No Jeff, let’s get packing tables.’”

Aaahhh, two brains (or six or eight) are definitely better than one.

Participating in a SerenDestiny Mastermind Group will contribute to a success you’ll never be able to achieve on your own. You’ll get synergistic results because you’re not relying solely on your energy or expertise. Aligning with compatible people who have your back and your front will help you “have more fun and get it done” while moving your life forward – for good.

Email us at info@SamHorn.com to receive information on how you can get involved.
 

“I went for years not finishing anything. Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged.” – author Erica Jong

A fellow consultant called to say, “Sam, one of my clients is coming to DC. She’s got a book she's been working on and I’m hoping she can spend some time with you.”

I agreed and we set up a walk-talk that weekend. As we walked, I heard a familiar refrain. This woman had been working and reworking her book for, ahem, 3 years.

I’m not one of those people who thinks we can rush a book out overnight. Quality books take time. Unless you’ve written one, it’s hard to comprehend that you can take days trying to get one paragraph, one page, just right.

However, this woman had essentially finished her book a couple years ago. It’s not going to get a Pulitzer but it’s got a valuable message that will make a positive difference for many people. She could have published it and been speaking on it all this time.

If she ever pulls the trigger on it.

This is a phenomenon every agent and editor is familiar with. When it comes to finishing a book, some people are more flap than throttle. Because, as Erica Jong so wisely points out, when we finish something, we can be judged.

I told this woman a revelation I’d learned from my 17 years emceeing the Maui Writers Conference. I’ve heard dozens of famous authors share their trade secrets, including everyone from Frank McCourt to Jacquelyn Mitchard to Nicholas Sparks to James Rollins.

These bestselling authors didn’t agree on a lot. One would say, “You have to work with an outline.” The next would say, “I never work with an outline.” But they all agreed on one thing. Better done than perfect.

They all confessed that, if it weren’t for their publisher’s deadline, they’d probably still be tweaking some of their books. They had learned that, past a point, spending more time on a manuscript doesn’t make it better; it just makes it . . . different.

They had learned to discipline themselves to get it out the darn door.

This is one of the non-negotiable characteristics of SerenDestiny. It’s wonderful to start something – but we don’t meet our best future halfway until we follow up and finish it.

See It Through

“My parents always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinated so much. I told ‘em, ‘Just you wait.’”

Ellen Menard had plenty of reasons not to finish her book. She’s a former corporate senior health care executive, hospital administrator and registered nurse who is on a mission to share “insider” information about how the medical system really works so people can be pro-active about getting the best health care possible.

Ellen was also diagnosed with a brain tumor several years ago and has been in and out of the hospital dealing with surgeries, radiation, pain and dire diagnoses.

“Throughout it all, my book has kept me going,” Ellen told me. “It has given me a reason to get up each day.”

You can imagine what a thrill it was to receive an email from Ellen that not only has she finished The Not So Patient Advocate; it had just been recommended in the New York Times.

Kudos to Ellen. Kudos for her for not waiting for perfect circumstances and not using her situation as an excuse for procrastinating. Kudos to her and to everyone who sticks with what they start.

SerenDestineers know that ideas in our head help no one. Plans in our head help no one.

What is something you’ve been working on . . . and working on? What can you do this week to put a timeline in place to finish it? Only then will you reap the rewards that result from getting something out in the world that adds value for yourself and others.

One way to get that idea out of your head and into the world is to draft up the cover of your book (or a photo/description of what you want to achieve) and post it on your refrigerator so you’re keeping it in-sight, in mind.

Many of want to finish our book or project but our good intentions fade away as we busily attend to our many priorities. Our intentions become out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

Posting a visual of your completed project where you see it throughout the day keeps it top-of-mind. It makes it a “done deal” instead of a far-off goal. Suffice it to say, every client who has posted a draft cover of their book on their frig has seen it through and finished it.

Another way to turn your dream into reality is to not go it alone.

As mentioned earlier, you can meet your best future halfway by aligning with other people who will encourage you and hold you accountable so you finish what you start and produce results, not regrets.

Email us at info@SamHorn.com to get information on how you can get involved in a SerenDestiny Mastermind Group so you receive much-needed support in fast-forwarding your success.
 

“Time is too limited to waste it living someone else’s life.” ???

Clue: This person is a visionary leader whose company has introduced some of the most popular tech gadgets ever. He’s had some health challenges recently which have made him realize the importance of pursuing our dreams now, not someday.

As Frank Sinatra said, “You better live every day like it’s your last, because some day you’re gonna be right.”

Be the first to correctly guess who said the quote above and you’ll receive your choice of any two of Sam’s CD’s – including POP! Your Ideas and Create An Elevator Intro That Opens Doors and Closes Deals.

Email Cheri@SamHorn.com with your guess.

What a pleasure it was sharing my POP! Your Business and Scale Your Success keynote at the sold-out POWER conference in Washington DC on Sept. 1.

That’s me with Suzi Pomerantz, smiling as people tell me how motivated they were by the inspiring examples and insights.

The events below are just some of the speaking engagements I’ve got scheduled for this fall. I hope to see you at one of them.

And if you’re looking for a keynoter to get your event off to a rousing start, I hope you’ll contact us. I’d love to hear about your group, your conference goals, and how we can work together to produce a program that benefits all involved.

When: September 19-22, 2010
Where: Washington DC
Who: Entrepreneurs Organization Leadership Academy
What: This is a private event for members. Sam works with the top 25 emerging world leaders on “Effective Public Speaking.”
Contact: http://www.eonetwork.org/

When: September 23, 2010
Where: Richmond, VA
Who: Virginia Council of CEOs
What: Private event. Sam's keynote on “Selling Innovation and Change,” and workshop on “Crafting Messages that Sell.”
Contact: http://www.vaceos.org/

When: September 24, 2010
Where: Richmond, VA
Who: NSA-Virginia
What: Sam presents POP! Your Business Success. Position yourself as one-of-a-kind vs. one-of-many so you break out vs. blend in.
Contact: http://www.nsavirginia.org/events_Detail.php?EventID=41

On Sat, September 25, Sam offers group consults at a discounted rate. To reserve your spot, contact Cheri@SamHorn.com, or call 805-528-4351

When: September 30, 2010
Where: Washington, DC
Who: SerenDestiny Mastermind Group
What: Make This the Year You Achieve Your Goals. Are you tired of going it alone? Would you like to meet with compatible people who have your best-interests at heart so you can benefit from their experience & expertise? Sign up for this workshop and work in a structured but participative forum where you produce exponential progress because you’re synergizing your efforts instead of providing all your own energy.
Contact: To receive a flyer/registration form on this event, contact Cheri@Samhorn.com;

When: October 9, 2010
Where: Dallas, TX
Who: NSA-North Texas
What: Sam speaks on “POP! Your Business Success” in the morning, and conducts a hands-on session in the afternoon called “One Page-60 Second Pitch Workshop.”
Contact: http://speaker.org/

When: October 29-30, 2010
Where: Charleston, SC
Who: Adam Witty’s Author Marketing Summit
What: Sam presents POP! How to Create the Perfect Pitch, Title and Tagline for Your Book and Presentation.
Contact: http://www.authormarketingsummit.com/

When: November 4, 2010
Where: Newport News, VA
Who: TEDx Nasa
What: Sam returns to emcee this inspiring event.
Contact: http://www.tedx-nasa.org/event.html

When: November 13, 2010
Where: Washington, DC
Who: SerenDestiny Mastermind Group
What: Make This the Year You Achieve Your Goals. Are you tired of going it alone? Would you like to meet with compatible people who have your best-interests at heart so you can benefit from their experience & expertise? Sign up for this workshop and work in a structured but participative forum where you produce exponential progress because you’re synergizing your efforts instead of providing all your own energy.
Contact: To receive a flyer/registration form on this event, contact Cheri@Samhorn.com;

When: November 18-22, 2010
Where: Orlando, FL
Who: National Foundation for Women Legislators
What: Sam will present “POP! Your Issue: Innovative Ways to Win Buy-In for Your Ideas and Initiatives.”
Contact: http://www.womenlegislators.org/

When: December 1-3, 2010
Where: Key West, FL
Who: Ed Rigsbee’s Key West 2010 Advanced Speaker-Consultant Mastermind Event
What: Join Alan Weiss (Million Dollar Consulting), internet marketing genius Ford Saeks, and Sam as they each present a half day workshop on how to scale your success and revenue.
Contact: http://www.rigsbee.com/key_west_2010.htm

When: December 9, 2010
Where: McLean, VA
Who: McClean Chamber of Commerce
What: Sam speaks on "POP! Your Business Success."
Contact: http://www.mcleanchamber.org/